Most of us have an inner voice—that quiet (or sometimes not-so-quiet) running commentary in our heads that helps us think things through, plan what’s next, manage emotions, and stay on track. For individuals with ADHD, understanding self-directed speech, or inner dialogue, is especially important because it can function differently, affecting daily life and self-regulation.
What Research Tells Us
Studies suggest that self-directed speech may be more prominent among people with ADHD traits, pointing to differences in how inner dialogue manifests and how it supports behavior (Benfield & Cole, 2025). As researchers describe it:
“With respect to use and function, self-directed speech has been associated with a large range of behaviours and tasks. These appear to benefit from the self-regulatory, reflective, and management aspects of the phenomenon. Such behaviours and tasks include those concerned with, for example, problem-solving, decision-making, emotional processing, working memory, resisting temptation, attentional focus, mind-wandering, imagination, and creativity.”
Other cognitive research has found that children tend to use more self-directed speech when tasks become more complex. This research aligns with Vygotsky’s idea that inner speech becomes especially important when we’re planning, problem-solving, or regulating ourselves under pressure.
Inner Voice in Everyday ADHD Life
In my work with ADHD teens and adults—and in my own life—I’ve come to see inner dialogue as a genuinely useful tool for planning, processing, remembering, and staying focused, especially during transitions, such as when you have a few moments to let your mind wander, say, while commuting. Johann Hari, in Stolen Focus, highlights the importance of unstructured thought as vital for creativity, future planning, and deeper insight—a necessary counterpart to focused attention.
Think about the early morning hours. Your brain is still waking up, but you need to move through a specific sequence of tasks within a limited window of time. Or it’s the end of the day, when energy is fading, but there are still loose ends to tie up before you can truly relax.
In these moments, planning, working memory, and attention are all doing a lot of heavy lifting. A supportive inner voice can function like a quiet coach—helping you break tasks into steps, keep track of what comes next, and offer encouragement when motivation is lacking.
If positive self-talk doesn’t come naturally—especially first thing in the morning—it can help to outsource some of that support. Music, a brief podcast/ morning affirmation, or familiar routines can provide structure and emotional grounding. Sometimes an upbeat song can do what your inner voice just isn’t ready to do yet.
How Parents and Loved Ones Can Support
If you’re parenting a child with ADHD, modeling a calm, neutral inner voice by staying composed during transitions can help them feel secure and understood.
For parents or partners of older ADHDers, support may look different. Sometimes it means giving space. Your loved one may need time to mentally organize a specific sequence of steps to navigate a transition smoothly. One practical way to help is to pick one predictable task to do consistently—like making the same grab-and-go breakfast in the morning or filling a water bottle and leaving it in the same spot. The goal is to allow your loved one to cognitively offload something, without introducing extra decisions that could interrupt their focus.
When Someone Seems “Stuck in Their Head”
If your loved one seems more inwardly focused than usual, it may simply mean they’re juggling several demanding tasks at once. If you’re worried, try bringing it up gently and without judgment at a time when you usually connect.
You might say:
- “I’ve noticed you seem more in your thoughts lately. Do you want to talk about it?”
- “Is there a way I can support you right now?”
Starting with gentle observations, offering choice, and asking permission to help can foster feelings of being seen and cared for without shame or pressure.
A Final Thought
Therapy can help shift the inner voice from something that feels critical or overwhelming into something more supportive and steady. It can also support caregivers and loved ones by offering practical, realistic strategies that make sense for your family.
If you’re looking for support, consider reaching out to an ADHD-informed therapist who understands both the research and the lived experience of ADHD.
By Emily Varlas, LMSW, MS Ed.
Emily is a therapist at Jonah Green and Associates, LLC, which offers therapy services for children, teens, families, and adults in North Bethesda, Maryland, serving clients in Montgomery County, DC, and the surrounding areas.
References:
Benfield, E., & Cole, G. G. (2026). Self-directed speech and attention deficit hyperactive disorder-like behaviours. British Journal of Psychology, 117, 301–313.
Hari, J. (2022). Stolen Focus: Why You Can’t Pay Attention—and How to Think Deeply Again. Crown Publishing Group.