“Remember your friends
Just remember, you can call.
Just remember that passion fades.
Good friendships seldom die. If you stay true to those who are true to you, you’ll make it. You’ll make it fine.”
—Singer-songwriter Joan Armatrading, More Than One Kind of Love
Many couples or families turn to therapy when their relationships face challenges. But another group, not bound by legal, blood, or traditional bonds, occasionally comes to therapy together: friends.
Some of us are fortunate to have friends who offer us both support and encouragement to grow. In today’s world, however, where many of us make multiple moves from our places of birth and are stretched thin by work, caregiving, and the churn of digital life, many adults have few close friends. Maintaining friendships requires effort, and when friends seek therapy together, it reflects the depth of their commitment to one another.
The Power of Friendship
In a culture that prioritizes romantic unions and biological relationships, Armatrading’s message is that friendships with those who are “true to you” have a distinct and enduring value. Friendships often lack formal or societal obligations and typically don’t come with ceremonies or anniversaries, but they can manifest in unexpected ways, such as late-night calls and hospital visits.
In Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life’s Fundamental Bond, Lydia Denworth notes that friendship is an integral part of our biology and well-being, serving as a buffer against stress, protecting brain health, and even increasing life expectancy. Alexander Nehamas, in On Friendship, writes that a true friend is someone who makes your life more “interesting, unpredictable, and full of possibility.” Friends can meet needs that partners or family members may not—and often serve as confidants who support those very relationships. At their best, friends help us feel seen, not as a partner or family member, but as ourselves.
Even close friendships typically involve less conflict than family or romantic relationships. Long-lasting friendships, however, sometimes involve ruptures – whether through missed birthdays or betrayals of confidence. They also offer the opportunity to repair, sometimes with the help of a skilled third party.
What Is Friendship Therapy?
Friends who come to therapy together usually do so when one friend seeks to support another who is going through a challenging time. Occasionally, friends also enter therapy to mend a relationship. Friendship therapy can enhance communication, foster a deeper understanding, and strengthen bonds between friends.
Because friendship doesn’t come with formal commitments, friends are freer than couples or families to establish roles, standards, and obligations. Friendship therapy often brings both greater flexibility and a unique kind of vulnerability. During therapy, this becomes an opportunity: to clarify intentions, renegotiate connection, and strengthen the foundation.
An Opportunity to Celebrate and Solidify
Unlike family or romantic relationships, friendship is a continuous and voluntary choice. When passions fade and obligations make demands, a true friend you choose again and again can be a healing presence. Friendship therapy can provide support and repair for a vital relationship—and lay a foundation for an even more robust friendship.
-Posted by Jonah Green
Jonah Green, a therapist at Jonah Green and Associates, LLC, offers therapy services for children, teens, families, and adults in North Bethesda, Maryland, serving clients in Montgomery County, DC, and the surrounding areas.