David worked hard to build a stable home and believed he and his wife shared a commitment to family. When she left him for another man, his world fell apart. Divorce was painful, and his relationships with his children became strained.
Years later, David carries deep anger toward his ex-wife for “destroying the family.” He feels robbed of the legacy he worked so hard to create. He remains withdrawn from his adult children and close friends. Recently, though, he has started reaching out again—having coffee with his son, calling his daughter more often, and beginning to date.
Releasing Resentment
Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting or condoning what happened. It’s about releasing resentment and making space for feelings like sadness and disappointment. It’s also about remembering moments of goodness alongside the pain, and using what we once longed for as a guide toward living in the present.
Forgiveness for David might mean rebuilding a connection with his children, being open to new relationships, and imagining a future filled with connection and growth.
How Resentment Works
Resentment often grows from unresolved hurt—pain projected outward as blame. The focus narrows: It’s their fault. People caught in resentment tend to replay “internal arguments” in their minds with others. In families, resentment creates distance and repeated conflict.
The Path Toward Release
For David, healing begins with validation—a space to acknowledge his hurt. A therapist or loved one can offer understanding, helping him name what was lost and how it still lives inside him.
It helps to explore what the hurt represents now—perhaps a wounded sense of trust, safety, or self-worth. For David, it’s the loss of the dream of a lasting marriage and a stable family.
Further healing may involve creating new internal dialogues to replace his demands for justice and restitution. He might imagine what his ex-wife would say if she could speak from vulnerability—her confusion, her loneliness, or her regret. Such reflection can lead to what therapist Terry Hargrave calls “exoneration.” He may even reach out to his wife with overt words of forgiveness.
Over time, forgiveness opens space for healing. David may begin to recall moments of joy from his marriage, alongside the pain of its ending. He can recognize that, while he didn’t have the life he envisioned, he can find love and belonging in new forms.
The Healing Process
David’s pain and anger are understandable, and healing takes time. Even so, forgiveness can transform individuals and families. For David, it could mean strengthening his relationships with his children and opening himself up to future love.
The Fruits of Forgiveness
David’s story can be a model for many of us. Approached with care, forgiveness allows for a fuller, freer life. It can help those locked in hurt and anger to celebrate what remains, let go of losses, and shape a future of connection and hope.
-Posted by Jonah Green
Jonah Green, a therapist at Jonah Green and Associates, LLC, offers therapy services for children, teens, families, and adults in North Bethesda, Maryland, serving clients in Montgomery County, DC, and the surrounding areas.