The Need for Acceptance

Parents want their children to know they are loved and accepted. This desire is especially significant for those raising children in minority groups, whether racial, religious, neurodiverse, or LGBTQ+. Parents of these children often feel an even greater responsibility to ensure their children’s sense of belonging and to celebrate their children’s identities.

Sexual and Gender Minorities Today

Over the past several decades, LGBTQ+ children have seen many advances, and for a time, it seemed there was a growing recognition of transgender and nonbinary youth. Pride events and social acceptance helped children feel pride in who they are. However, these children and their families have felt increasingly threatened in recent years, particularly since the last election.

Chris Erb, a Licensed Clinical Marriage and Family Therapist (LCMFT), specializes in affirming care for youth and families, working to foster healthy communication among families as they navigate the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals. According to Erb, transgender youth are a high-risk minority group. “By adulthood, four out of five transgender people have considered suicide. Nearly half have attempted it. Transgender people face discrimination, rejection, bullying, and hate crimes. Recent events have increased the risk of being “out.”

Transgender and non-binary children have been targets of harsh rhetoric, discriminatory laws, and a political climate that vilifies their identities. In response, parents often feel more protective, anxious, and even angry. They grapple with how best to support their children in an environment that feels hostile and dismissive of their needs.

Need for Acceptance and Encouragement

Research shows that LGBTQ+ youth need to feel accepted by their parents more than anything else, especially during times of societal rejection. Your unconditional acceptance anchors their self-worth in the face of discrimination. Supportive statements, such as “I love you as you are” or “I’m here for you,” can provide comfort, reminding them that they can achieve, pursue their interests, and make meaningful connections, regardless of the barriers others may try to place.

Private and Public Advocacy 

Supporting your LGBTQ+ child today may require more than validation and encouragement; your child may also need your advocacy. Erb states, “Advocacy can bolster self-worth and a sense of belonging. Advocacy can range from embracing preferred pronouns to participating in local and statewide legislation. PFLAG and The Trevor Project provide resources for helping parents and families educate themselves around LGBTQ+ issues.”

Affirmative advocacy can take many forms: speaking up to others about discrimination, writing to lawmakers to support LGBTQ+ rights, educating those around you about the challenges of LGBTQ+ youth, or having tough conversations with family to foster understanding and acceptance. You will tell your child you are genuinely “in their corner.”

Self-Care for You, Too

Parenting the LGBTQ+ child you love in today’s turbulent climate can feel frightening and overwhelming. Seek support from partners, friends, and the community. Taking time for self-care and connecting with other parents can provide emotional relief and support. Therapy from a supportive and affirming therapist can be invaluable.

Erb notes that this time is “highly emotional for kids and threatens their sense of belonging.” In times of societal upheaval, parents’ love and acceptance are the most powerful tools they have to help their children thrive. However, those tools work best when parents have the support they need to stay grounded and strong.

Erb suggests that parents consider working with a therapist or LGBTQ+ support group. “Honor your feelings of loss, grief, or fear. Identify your social safety nets and resources. Your child needs your energy and vitality to support them through their struggles.”

With love, validation, encouragement, and advocacy, parents can help their children navigate a world that conveys that they are unsafe or unaccepted. Your support and acceptance are the most potent tools for LGBTQ+ children to thrive. With community support, you can find the strength to allow children to experience the unconditional acceptance they need. Remember, your love and acceptance are powerful and can make a difference in your child’s life.

Author(s)

Jonah Green

Jonah Green, a therapist at Jonah Green and Associates, LLC, offers therapy services for children, teens, families, and adults in North Bethesda, Maryland, serving clients in Montgomery County, DC, and the surrounding areas.

This post was originally published in an article written by Jonah in Washington Parent

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